I think I'm supposed to wait.
I've obtained and filled out two retail job applications and I've researched volunteering at Duke and Rex hospitals. And I'm just not sure I want to go forward with either of them. There are scores of pluses and minuses for each option, but I won't bore you with those gory details. I must admit, I'm hearing the echo of my own voice, "you've got to do something while you figure out what to do", but I'm not really getting the go ahead from the man upstairs. I was told to get into the River and wait there for further instructions. I'm not about to complicate things by taking matters into my own hands. At church on Sunday, one of the preachers, (there were two, more on that later), talked about the hostile opposition of our society towards free time (those weren't his exact words, but I'm paraphrasing). We become human-doings instead of human beings. And I'm wondering if the Lord hasn't given me this time to press into him and just enjoy this sliver of a moment in my life. It's difficult to ascertain, though, because even as I write these words, I feel the judgement of eating "the bread of idleness" clanging down on my head. I rebuke you, in Jesus' Name. I'm not saying being at home all day is all it's cracked up to be, but it is what you make it. I'm not whittling for myself an excuse for laziness. I'm not even saying that I don't do something every day to push forward with getting a nursing job. I'm just saying that I'm questioning running out to find something to fill my time with. In this schedule stocked stressed out society, should I follow suit and sign up for active duty at the mall? I don't know. Not no, per se. But not yes, yet.
So why the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang reference? Because a little self-help never hurt anyone. In the movie, Grandpa Potts is in the dungeon of the castle of Baron Bomburst of Vulgaria, a place where children are forbidden (the Baroness hates kids, apparently). The Baron thinks that Grandpa Potts is the inventor, which is actually his son, Caractacus Potts (Dick Van Dyke). The Baron wants Grandpa Potts to make his car fly, just like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (their car). The helpers in the dungeon/workshop are all old men, because they've been there foooooooorreeeeeeevvver. And they do their song and dance called "Roses of Success", a song that cites Pasteur, Edison, and Bell as major failures before their dazzling successes. It's a feel-good song, (hey, it's a kid's musical), but the take-home message is important: to keep trying in the face of failure.
"There's more to come: we continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary--we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit." Romans 5:3-5 The Message
Passionate patience. Active waiting. Compelled perseverance. Tempered steel of virtue, comin' right up. There is nothing "sit-on-the-couch-y" about those words. And for the record, why do we so many, many times (myself included) lump praying for something or about something into doing nothing. Isn't praying doing something? The best something you can do?? Reality check, MG. And I'm putting my soap box away now.
So, the last few days have been pretty uneventful, other than procuring the said job applications and researching the aforementioned volunteering opportunities. That, and talking with the Lord a lot. As Forest Gump says, God's first name must be Andy. "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own". We've finally washed all of our sheets and towels and blankets to get that "store" smell out of them. We've decided on a dinner menu for the rest of the week--Santa Fe Corn and Bean soup in the slow cooker, BBQ chicken and asparagus, fajitas, and more! And when I say "we" I mean me. I've probably got the most agreeable husband on the planet when it comes to food. We finally found a good sushi restaurant nearby on Monday night--nothing to top 356, Nami, or Umi--but it was quite delicious. And they had buy one get one free deals, which was pretty clutch. And by clutch I mean I WAS REALLY FULL. Mmmmmm. :)
Praises: Noah and Melody are safely in NYC and have jobs (hooray!), Andrew got a job as a Physics TA that will pay tuition and then some--i.e. no debt for us!, Jennigray and Chris are moving to Flahrida (back to the Southeast, baby!), and we may have found a church already! Thank you, Lord.
"Grow the roses! those rosy roses! From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success!"